Get ready Cheesehead...



I feel like Jerry Maguire after he ate bad pizza...

(only not in a good way)

I'm done!!

I'm done because

I had to give it to MY girls straight this morning when

we had to walk to the bus-stop instead of

driving the truck like we usually do...

I had to tell them the truck probably won't be here when they

get home from school today...

I had to tell them the judge told daddy to pay for the truck

and since he isn't

they're taking it away...

(I got a phone call from a lovely girl at Chrysler yesterday.)

I'm done because

YOU failed to pay for the health insurance

for 3 small girls and now

the policy is canceled...

(good thing another MAN picked up the pieces.)

I'm done because

I have received ONE child support check from you

over the past FIVE months...

yet you have a cigarette between your fingers

that's next to the beer in your hand...

FYI...

if you think I believe you live where you do and don't drink...

YOU'RE CRAZY!

(How long do you think it'll take your uncle to figure you out?)

I'm done because
I've been on my period for 20 of the past 37 days...
technically that isn't your fault but this whole
get-mad-at-you-for-everything-that's-bothering-me-rant
is therapeutic so I'm going with it.

Since I don't feel like getting into the details of

the house that went to auction on my birthday...

I'm done.

Have a nice day!

Dear Cheesehead



Drunk texting your ex-wife at 1:30 in the morning

is NOT cool.

Even if your team did win the Superbowl.

But...

Since you've opened the lines of communication...

Would you mind telling me why

a guy showed up at my sisters house last week to repo my truck?

How about why I received a bill last week for the

girls insurance premium showing me as the responsible party?

Last but not least, why when I asked you about these things

was your first response:

 "Let me find my dad."

Nice talking to you.

Reminders...

Its been a week and I'm still plagued with reminders.

Every trip to the loo...reminds me.

Every pain in my pelvis...reminds me.
Every iron pill I choke down (twice a day)...reminds me.

Every minute I spend in the shower scrubbing

the stubborn residue left from the monitor patches...

reminds me...

There's no escape.

I've decided that the gyno office needs to be like the vet...

cats to the right-dogs to the left...

pregnants to the right-empty bellys to the left...

What do ya think?

Am I wallowing?

I try...

I try to keep busy...

Lord knows bed rest for a week has

left plenty for me to do around here...

The problem is...

the busier I am, the "louder" they get...

you know, the reminders.

I can't close my eyes.

I can't close my eyes because I looked.

I shouldn't have looked.

I shouldn't have looked at the jar.

But I had to...

I had to see my fake baby.

That's what we call it around here.

"Mommy had to go to the doctor so he could

take out her fake baby."

The thing is, it didn't look fake.

It had everything...

It had everything it was going to need,

to be.

Not now though.
Now August 3rd will be
just. another. day.

Well...

I think I offended the ovum...

I was here the other night...

A week and a half ago it was confirmed that

my "house guest" wasn't going anywhere on it's own.

Doc gave me the abortion pill and wished me luck...

Thanks.

4 little pills and I was going to be on

my way back to normal...

Without over sharing,

I used all four pills at once and waited...

About 40 minutes later things started happening...

At it's worst I'd say the pain was at about an hour

before you'd ask for the epidural..

(I tend to wait as long as I can for it)

Over the next 9 days things continued

without much pain...

A third ultrasound on day 9 revealed the worst...

still there...

nothing had changed.

I called the doc and was told to come into the office

the next day to discuss options.

Turns out I wouldn't need that appointment.

Went home that night and things picked up...

a lot.

I ended up in the ER...

After

 multiple IVs

an invasive procedure

some wonder drugs

a couple bags of fluids

3 hospital gowns

(and fresh sheets to go with them)

2 concerned doctors

1 nervous nurse

and an ovum in a jar...

I was able to go home.

A couple days later

I'm sitting here...

dizzy and pale from things lost.

Doc says a little more to go

and then it should be over.

Thought for the day:

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Let's hope it's not a train.

-Dear Abby

Dear Blighted Ovum,

I don't mean to be rude but it's been

3 weeks...

I've tried to be patient and let you come

in your own time but...

I'm Done!

I'm done lifting heavy boxes.

I'm done running the stairs.

I'm done shoveling the driveway.

I'm done doing everything I can think of

to get you out of there "naturally"

You still make me sick.

You still make me tired.

You still make me look fat.

And if all that wasn't enough...

The ultrasound Tuesday revealed

you're growing!

Doc said it looks like you're in there

for the long haul.

Now please understand that had you

done what you were supposed to do

I would've been happy to have you stay.

But you didn't.

So get out.

I hope these lyrics help you get the picture:

You weren't there, you never were

You want it all but that's not fair

I gave you life, I gave my all

You weren't there, you let me fall

So what? I'm still a rock star

I got my rock moves

And I don't need you

And guess what, I'm havin' more fun

And now that we're done

I'm gonna show you tonight

I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a tool so...

Thank you Pink...

You rock!

Turn up your volume to enjoy the whole song.
(not you Gram)

Apparently my blog has readers...

And they've asked for an update on Chocolate Chip.

Here goes...

The last MRI of her brain showed "white matter" in the

frontal and parietal lobes. I asked the neurosurgeon about it,

he didn't have much to say...said it looked like there had been

a lack of blood supply to those parts of the brain at some point.

Uhhh...come again.

In my thirst for knowledge I made an appointment with

a neurologist for the next day.

That disaster went something like this:

Habib diagnosed her with ADEM

(acute disseminated encephalomyelitis)

one problem...she has NONE of the symptoms other

than the "white matter."

He also made sure to tell us how amazing he is,

how he's the only one who could diagnose this,

how lucky we are that we came to him when we did

because this can't be neglected.

Says no treatment beyond a repeat MRI in 3-4 weeks.

Oh yeah, and she has Childhood Migraines.

So...after the appointment, naturally we had doubts.

In my sit-back-and-wait-patiently fashion...

oh wait...

I made an appointment for her to be seen out of state.

That happens later this summer.

In the mean time, her next MRI is scheduled for

June 21st. The follow up appointment to discuss the results

in scheduled for the 25th.

Thankfully Habib did show us what was concerning

on the old MRI films...you know what that means don't you?

When I get my hands on the new films,

I'll be holding those bad boys up to the sliding glass window

first chance I get.