Pick a door...
to take off your clothes
to better allow a strange man
to put cold jelly on your boob
to view a lump.
Cuz it's been 6 months since the last time he did it.
"Winnie the Pooh"
that was on the wall in the last radiology office I was in, completely
different hospital by the way...you'll see the humor
after I explain Kit Kat's joke.
It was a cool October day when I found myself topless
on a gurney in the radiology department.
I had found a lump and thought I oughtta be felt up, I mean
checked out by a total stranger.
I had the girls with me and in an effort to
keep them occupied I suggested a game of "I Spy."
All was going well.
It was my turn...
"I spy something orange and cuddly."
Milk Dud "Winnie the Pooh?"
"Yes Milk dud, I spy Winnie the Pooh."
Are you ready for this?
This is where it gets cute.
Kit Kat "Well, I spy Winnie the Boob!"
Needless to say she had the whole room laughing, which
is saying something since the entire hospital, or what seemed like it,
was in the room. I was lucky enough to be in the one office
that houses all the computers for the entire department!
Writing a report, come on in.
Viewing a scan, come on in.
Wanna see my boob, come on in!
But honestly, after bringing three children in this world,
why would I pretend that I have any shred of dignity left?
Cuz I don't.
Which is good, since it seems this isn't something that's going to stop.
(No worries, just a fibroadenoma,
or as I like to call her fibropaininmya**)
I've gotta say, if I had an amazing rack I'd be ok with all this.
You know, kinda like a price you pay.
Hell, I'd settle for a decent rack.
But, since I don't...Dr. G let's be realistic here, they're
not worth all this trouble. You take these, I'll get me a new pair
and we'll call it good.